Senior Humor Lover Gifts

"I recently went wireless."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Turning right in four miles. Must turn on blinkers now."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'Apparently she's got half a mind.'

Old man has a walking stick case.

'Did someone say something?'

'Er...have I just been or am I just going?'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

A senior moment.

James Bond: Senior Years.

David Blaine, Age 60

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."