Senior Year Gifts

"Next order of business, Gentlemen. We still need to choose a theme for the prom..."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

Speed Dating.

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Pensioner's Romance

"He's dead- but that's normal for his age."

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

woman works at a desk with a sign on the wall behind her: Ms. Davis Senior Partner - Formerly Hey You.

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!