Senior Gifts

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

Senior PGA Moment.

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Pensioner's Romance

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"He's dead- but that's normal for his age."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

woman works at a desk with a sign on the wall behind her: Ms. Davis Senior Partner - Formerly Hey You.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'