Senior Birthday Gifts

"He's dead- but that's normal for his age."

"How's your memory?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

The Aging of Underwear

Pensioner's Romance

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

Computer Jobs

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'I'm at an age where my back 'goes out' more than I do!'

'60 is the new 40.'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.