Senior Birthday Pillows

"He's dead- but that's normal for his age."

"How's your memory?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'He's been doing this ever since he saw the Lion King!'

The Aging of Underwear

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Pensioner's Romance

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Computer Jobs

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'I'm at an age where my back 'goes out' more than I do!'

'60 is the new 40.'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'