Celebrating Senior Life Pillows

'I don't know what's the matter - I just don't seem to have my old zip.'

"I don't know who you are!"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Bed and Breakfast

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

Old Love

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'I'm at an age where my back 'goes out' more than I do!'

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

Seniors Pro (putt putt) Golf Tour.

Looking the goods at Christmas in flash new socks and jocks!!

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

"Let's not make it a long engagement."

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh pop?"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.