Celebrating Senior Life Pillows

'I don't know what's the matter - I just don't seem to have my old zip.'

"I don't know who you are!"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Bed and Breakfast

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

Old Love

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'I'm at an age where my back 'goes out' more than I do!'

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

Looking the goods at Christmas in flash new socks and jocks!!

"Let's not make it a long engagement."

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.