Celebrating Longevity Pillows

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

Clancy: Eye for the Ladies

37 years in the same position.

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Rock and Roll

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

A very fine vintage

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

Tragedy and Remedy.

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'