Seniority Celebrator Gifts

Methuselah shoots his age.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"I got the promotion. Instead of Wednesdays, I'm now the one who gets blamed when things go wrong on Tuesdays."

"He's dead- but that's normal for his age."

Old Love

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

The first birthday gift.

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

'I see you've learned about your upcoming promotion.'

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

Birthday cakes on porch on hot day

'Congratulations, Henderson -- I'm promoting you from henchman to crony.'

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

Life begins at 60

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

"This is where the party budget ran out."

Alien Birthdays...

"How's your memory?"

"She just uses all that make-up to hide her age."