Senior Dating Celebration Gifts

Old Love

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

Oldies.

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

Elderly Dating

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

5-hour relationship drug.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'I don't know what's the matter - I just don't seem to have my old zip.'

Pensioners Ahead

"This is not exactly how I envisioned watching the grass grow in my retirement."

Challenges of old age

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"Mom, Dad – this is Gloria."