Senior Wedding Gifts

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness, even without Medicare supplemental insurance?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

Pensioner's Romance

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

Old Love

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

"Man, your old lady really is an old lady"

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Couple on a Tandem Cycling in Different Directions

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Are you sure you still love me even though I'm old, and everything just hangs now?'

Oldies.

"Make a wish, dear, and smile!"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"Hearing aids. What did you wish for?"

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

"You're old, you're losing fluid and now you're breaking down...I better have you scrapped."

The Couple who Adopted an Adult Child

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'