Senior Romance Gifts

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

Old Love

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

Old man has a walking stick case.

'Did someone say something?'

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Oldies.

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

Kissing bench with rockers

I love a lazy Sunday. What do we have planned, Dear? Just the usual. Oh yes. What time shall we do it? How about now? Sounds good. I'm ready. One, two, three … You kids get off my lawn! Now let's snuggle. We're not even on your lawn! Quit sassin'!

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

Elderly Dating

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

the romance novel

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"I recently went wireless."

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"Walk of shame."

'Er...have I just been or am I just going?'