Senior Romance Explorer Gifts

'It says here that you'd prefer someone with regular bowel movements..Does it matter if they're involuntary?'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Cosmonaut

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"This is fun. I'm usually kind of a loner."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

Astronaut love

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

The Loving Couple

I’d like to declare my interest. In what? Commitment. Two kids and a dog. Commitment to kids and a dog? And to going for long walks on the beach, to gazing up at the stars, to growing old together … What? I thought you were talking about two kids. That sounds like eight. And why would only tow grow old together? What about the other six? Are you saying they'll grow old at different rates? ... Or are you saying the other six will meet some untimely fate and not grow old at all? Then she asked if

Single men in Tahiti

Mate Mart

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

Happy Valentine's Day.

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

'For goodness sake, don't struggle. I think this is quicksand.'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

Carbon Dating Agency

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."