Romantic Senior Gifts

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Oldies.

Elderly Dating

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

I love a lazy Sunday. What do we have planned, Dear? Just the usual. Oh yes. What time shall we do it? How about now? Sounds good. I'm ready. One, two, three … You kids get off my lawn! Now let's snuggle. We're not even on your lawn! Quit sassin'!

Kissing bench with rockers

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

the romance novel

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

Senior Pick-Up Lines

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"Walk of shame."

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

'I don't date them until they have a free bus pass - saves money on a night out...'

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness, even without Medicare supplemental insurance?"

"Oh, I stopped wearing one. At my age there's no point in trying to fool Mother Nature."

"The gall of that woman! She's actually ENJOYING her retirement!"

''No, sir, adult living doesn't mean X-rated."

'It says here that you'd prefer someone with regular bowel movements..Does it matter if they're involuntary?'