Loveable Seniors Gifts

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

Old man has a walking stick case.

'Did someone say something?'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Oldies.

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

Elderly Dating

I love a lazy Sunday. What do we have planned, Dear? Just the usual. Oh yes. What time shall we do it? How about now? Sounds good. I'm ready. One, two, three … You kids get off my lawn! Now let's snuggle. We're not even on your lawn! Quit sassin'!

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

'I'm really beginning to feel my age, Lou. Irene used the can opener today and I didn't even hear it.'

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"The wild walker"

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"I recently went wireless."

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."