Loveable Seniors Gifts

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

'Did someone say something?'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Old man has a walking stick case.

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

Oldies.

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

Elderly Dating

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

'I'm really beginning to feel my age, Lou. Irene used the can opener today and I didn't even hear it.'

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"The wild walker"

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."

"...and make sure you get food with plenty of preservatives in it"