Romantic Retirees Gifts

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness, even without Medicare supplemental insurance?"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Dun spellchecking.

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

Elderly Dating

'Let's do something in bad taste.'

Kissing bench with rockers

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

I love a lazy Sunday. What do we have planned, Dear? Just the usual. Oh yes. What time shall we do it? How about now? Sounds good. I'm ready. One, two, three … You kids get off my lawn! Now let's snuggle. We're not even on your lawn! Quit sassin'!

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

the romance novel

'I'm retired and decided to have a fresh start.'

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Never ask a retired archaeologist to go find something in the basement."

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

Oap recruitment.

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"I remember the days when you used to pull my hair like that!"

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"Walk of shame."

Todays feisty seniors

"I remember when young men met girls in person!"

'As a practioner of complimentary medicine, I must say you are marvellous for your age.'