Retirement Romantics Gifts

Senior Pick-Up Lines

Scientists are sexy

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

The Remote Olympics

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

'Oh, the amenity!'

"So, you're still doing the Western thing."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Dun spellchecking.

"In my day, we had grand pianos randomly fall from the sky!"

All those years of marriage and they still get emotional on Valentines Day.

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'What are we doing for Valentines Day this year?'

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

"By God, you're right. This is a three day weekend."

"Heavens! I'd better rush home. my phone may be ringing."

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

Kissing bench with rockers

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

"Is there an emojis that says 'remember when we used to have a cocktail and conversation before dinner?'"

Elderly Dating

'Saturdays in paradise.'

"I've had a look at our revised pension forecast..."

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'