Romantic Retiree Gifts

Elderly Dating

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

Kissing bench with rockers

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

'Saturdays in paradise.'

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

"Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in - unless they've moved to a one-bedroom condo in Boca Raton."

the romance novel

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Never ask a retired archaeologist to go find something in the basement."

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"I remember the days when you used to pull my hair like that!"

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

"Walk of shame."

Todays feisty seniors

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness, even without Medicare supplemental insurance?"

"You do realize that I'm retired too?"

'Thank Heavens we've lived a care-free hedonistic lifestyle.'