Age-celebrator Gifts

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Emotional Bling

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"Cheers to being a person."

Scot holding a heart.

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

"I got the promotion. Instead of Wednesdays, I'm now the one who gets blamed when things go wrong on Tuesdays."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

Wine: New and Old.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Congratulations, Henderson -- I'm promoting you from henchman to crony.'

Other People

The first birthday gift.

'I see you've learned about your upcoming promotion.'

House Plant Party

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

Birthday cakes on porch on hot day

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

Life begins at 60

Home for Seniors.

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.