Senior Outing Gifts

'You get the feeling we're getting too familiar?'

Cats on Board.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

Speed Dating.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Bed and Breakfast

Pensioner's Romance

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

Old Love

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"My memory's not too good these days."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

Seniors Pro (putt putt) Golf Tour.

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'