Senior Mobility Gifts

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Cats on Board.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"I don't know who you are!"

Senior Jeopardy!

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"I'm with grandad now - yeah, he's fighting fit."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

Pensioner's Romance

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.