Senior Mobility Gifts

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Cats on Board.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"I don't know who you are!"

Senior Jeopardy!

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

Pensioner's Romance

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.