Senior Fun Gifts

"So, we meet again."

Cats on Board.

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Bed and Breakfast

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

Life begins at 60

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

"Phew! You're ripe! What's that brown spot?"

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

"Those speedbumps are there for a reason, Mrs. Gunderson."

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

"Show-off!"

Seniors Pro (putt putt) Golf Tour.

At the Old Bikers' Home

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Agnes is so crushing on him."