Senior Humorist Gifts

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"Six is the new five."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

A child offers an old man adult diapers in the grocery store.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Wheelchair with kick-stand.

Senior Chat Rooms.

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

"This may be hard to believe but two SENIORS for the matinee."

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Death stalks an old man

"Attention, shoppers!! We have a senior lost in the produce section!. . ."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Toothless Meal

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

James Bond: Senior Years.

A senior moment.

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

David Blaine, Age 60

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."