Senior Clergy Gifts

Pope tired of travelling.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

A child interrupting family prayers

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'