Senior Athletes Gifts

'They wanted us to take the knee before kick off, but I was worried half of us might not be able to get up again'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Gary turns 40.

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Senior PGA Moment.

Pensioner's Romance

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

Rowing - Eights / After Eights.

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

I got my bad back from an old football injury.

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"You've still got it Joao."

STRIP Golfer turned Javelin thrower

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,