Aging Athlete Gifts

'The difference between retirement and old age is where you put the ice.'

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."

Suddenly, at age 40...

Gary turns 40.

I thought my knees would be the first thing to go, but it was my wife.

"You've still got it Joao."

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Yearbook

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Bullseye!

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."