Senior Athlete Gifts

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

Nice custom job, Bill!

6 Yard Dash with only three competitors.

I like the Jets...I guess

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Gary turns 40.

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Senior PGA Moment.

Pensioner's Romance

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

"You've still got it Joao."

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

STRIP Golfer turned Javelin thrower

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.