Senior Cyclist Gifts

Darby and Joan Club with empty mountain bike rack

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Senior PGA Moment.

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Pensioner's Romance

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Bradley Wiggins

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Senior Olympics

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

"Look, Honey! No teeth!"

Nice custom job, Bill!

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

Retirement became the obvious decision.

'They wanted us to take the knee before kick off, but I was worried half of us might not be able to get up again'

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!