Senior Golfer Gifts

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Senior PGA Moment.

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

Golf lessons

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

A man plays golf by the sea

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

'Don't move.'

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

'Birdie.'

"Thank you."

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

The natural selection process in golf.

"Duh!"

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Nice custom job, Bill!

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

"Your kind of course, dad."

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

'Which club do I use for a hole in one?'

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

'The only good drive I made all morning was the ride back from the stupid golf course.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO