Golf Professional Gifts

Golf - "Perhaps a trifle less follow-through."

'I could get there with a wedge...you better hit a seven.'

"Personally, I like to play wth a decent golfer"

Knight Golfing

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

I think you're ace

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

Finally! There comes my most important man!

"Hey, Stretch. Mind if we play through?"

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

Senior PGA Moment.

For sale - Used only Once.

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

"If anyone rings tell them I'm on a course."

'If you can't control your temper,sister,you shouldn't be playing this game!'

'Don't move.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

The Golf Gremlin.

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'