Pro Golfer Gifts

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

Golfing Boss

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Golf lessons

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'Not that slowly back...'

A man plays golf by the sea

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Senior PGA Moment.

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

God in the bunker.

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Don't move.'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"This better be important."

"Thank you."

'Birdie.'

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

"Duh!"

'Great putt. Lucky I hit the pin.'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"Wider."

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."