Pro Golfer Pillows

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

Golfing Boss

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

A man plays golf by the sea

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Senior PGA Moment.

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'Don't move.'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"This better be important."

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

'Birdie.'

"Thank you."

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"Duh!"

'Great putt. Lucky I hit the pin.'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

"Wider."