Golden Age Athlete Gifts

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Gary turns 40.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Angel doing the hula hoop.

Zdeno Chara

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

"You've still got it Joao."

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

'Ref!!'

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

When Seniors Fly

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

Bernard Hinault

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

Nice custom job, Bill!

Rugby golden oldies.

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

' Don't you think your taking this exercise wheel a bittoo seriously?'