Ancient Athletes Gifts

Prehistoric Basketball Player

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"Good game."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Trojan Hurdler.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

Don't worry, if things don't work out in America we can always take the Bering Land Bridge back to Asia.

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

Gareth Bale

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'He lifted two! That beats your world record yesterday of one.'

I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

Ancient Roman Cheerleaders.

'What a Neanderthal! Ork doesn't know his putter from his driver.'

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

Early Football

'If you had respect for ecology, you'd resist defacing nature's handiwork with your mindless graffiti!'

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

Carbon Dating Agency

'Ha, ha! -- Neanderthals can't jump!'

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

"Stuff history. We're going this way."

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

Way ahead of its time and sadly doomed to extinction: A prehistoric punting and gathering society.

Early dodgeball.

Neanderthal Golf.

Pre-Columbian Premier League (1275 B.C.).

Grim Reaper in trainers.

Olympic curling

'Oh no. Looks like another split crew.'

'Wait -- what if the Canaanites want to convert?'

"What've I told you about drawing on those walls?!"

How's My Charioteering?