Self-image Evaluator Gifts

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Nice haircut."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

"What does she have that I don't?"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

TV-Mirror.

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Does my bum look big in this?'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

"Don't make me look fat!"

Cartoon Panel Discussion

"Stock photo, right?"

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

Does this skirt make it look like sexy fat?

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'Am I bald?'

Out of condition man in front of mirror which makes him look slim.

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

"That one goes particularly well with you tie."

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

How people who have plastic surgery see themselves...

"Takes years of me..."

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'