Self-image Critic Gifts

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

"I might take a rain check."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Nice haircut."

"That's a big fat lie!"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"What does she have that I don't?"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

TV-Mirror.

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

Cartoon Panel Discussion

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"Stock photo, right?"

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'Admit it, Henry, you only love me for my hair.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

"I'm trying to find that perfect piece of art that will make me think I know something about art."

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

"Ed was at that awkward in between stage of letting his hair grow out." "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon..."

'I'll take THIS mirror.'