Self-image Aware Gifts

Evolution of dangerous relationship questions. Does this workout gear make me look fit?

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

That party went well.

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

wattle covers

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Nice haircut."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"God help us, it's that guy."

"What does she have that I don't?"

Motorway of the Self

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

TV-Mirror.

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

Do not ask if you are truly hitting yourself. Rather, ask why are you hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself. Guru Brothers.

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

'I never forget a face.'

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."