Self-image Seekers Gifts

'Ready with the implants, nurse?'

"Why can't women see things realistically?"

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Nice haircut."

"That's a big fat lie!"

Ego Increasing School

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

"What does she have that I don't?"

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

TV-Mirror.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Doc, my problem is that I don't believe in myself!'

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

Tell me about this feeling of inadequacy

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches

'We can increase your self-esteem, but self-respect is more difficult.'

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"I wish I was special."

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

Cartoon Panel Discussion

"Stock photo, right?"

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

Psychiatry. You just have to believe in yourself.