Self-help Enthusiasts Gifts

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."

Marionette

'Instead of trying to find the perfect cell mate, try being the perfect cell mate.'

"He says I'm too clingy."

'...On the other hand, maybe you're just a victim of identity theft.'

A new "U" vending machine

Little buddy, you asked me to make sure you're following every step in "Randy's Guide to Being an Alpha Male." Go away, Randy! Have you read chapter 14? It's called "Yes, they are noticing how long you spend in the john." Go away! A decisive man has decisive bowels. Go away!

My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall

You are looking at the author of what is about to be the latest, hottest, self-help book on the market. I've condensed happiness into a single, simple solution. Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! I fear this will sell millions of copies. Shut your yapper!

I'm refining the title for my self-help book. Right now, it's called: Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser. What if I add a subtitle: A Single Step to Total Fulfillment and @#$% Joy! Too upbeat? Exactly what was I thinking.

Primordial Soup for the Soul.

"Help! Spent it all on self-help books."

Foolproof plans (that really work)

'I'm sorry, but at your weight it could be dangerous for you to take part.'

"Harold, I'd wish you'd stop listening to those self help tapes that bring you back to your childhood!"

Spent it all on self-help books.

'The 12 Habits of People Just Barely Holding Their Own.'

'Will you shut up with the stupid quotes from that stupid book?!!'

Directional sign: beyond redemption, beneath contempt.

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"