Self-help Fanatic Gifts

With both meetings scheduled to end at 3 pm, a perfect storm was brewing.

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Window Treatment

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

What else is there to wish for?

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'