Self-help Aficionado Gifts

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Pastoring for Dummies

''Ten Commandments' sounds too stuffy. How about God for Dummies?'

'I'm sorry, but for that kind of money I really can't help you work on yourself.'

'Don't worry, you're not alone. There are millions of insignificant, boring, ineffectual people like you.'

Thief stealing a self-help book on kleptomania

'You must heal yourself.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

Nun reading book titled 'How to be good in bed.'

'I never pause for reflection, it's always such a disappointment.'

"Don't you have Become a Wine Expert in 1 Minute & 16 seconds?"

Power Napping

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"I'm ok, you're OK Corral."

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

'Why does that stupid man keep saying 'BOO' to us'

Shoplifter helps himself to a book from the self-help books section.

Ethics for Dummies

"My doctor says I should take all my bottled-up anger and sell it to a grass-roots movement."

Tired of being alone, it was time to try a different approach. 'My, how frugal. I like that in a man,' she lied.

'LOOK! You're a nice guy, but...' 'Curse this character flaw.'

'It's a new blend I recently discovered: finely ground hundred dollar bills for wealth, shredded pages from Deepak Chopra's latest book for wisdom and orange pekoe for taste!'

The Seven Habits of Highly Obsessively Compulsive People

Now...what was I doing

Make him talk/Play Dumb.

' I need another good night kiss cause the first one didn't stick.'

Self-help, Self-improvement and o.k just as you are

'I think it's time to get in touch with your inner fired self.'

Gamblers Annoymous: 'My name is Alice, and i'm a slot machine jockey...'

"As the guy you're dating, I think it's only fair that I ask why you have a book entitled, 'How to cope with dating a total geek.'"

"Me, not self-sufficient? Who was it who self-published a self-help on self-medicating?"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"John Stuart Mill taught that the happiness of the individual is paramount. He didn't name names, but I suspect that you and I are the sort of individual he had in mind."