Self-defense Humor Pillows

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Mod Kwan Doh

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Hello, security.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."