Self-defense Humorist Pillows

Add a humorous touch to your home décor with our self-defense humorist pillows. Plush and funny, they bring a playful vibe and a smile to any space.

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

"I tried to warn you Carl, he's a 5th dan black belt in origami...!"

"I tried to warn you Carl, he's a 5th dan black belt in origami...!" mockup

"I tried to warn you Carl, he's a 5th dan black belt in origami...!"

from $19.00

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio."

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio." mockup

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio."

from $19.00

"I don't mind being fat. Harder to kidnap."

"I don't mind being fat. Harder to kidnap." mockup

"I don't mind being fat. Harder to kidnap."

from $19.00

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone! mockup

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

from $19.00

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!' mockup

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

from $19.00

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique." mockup

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

from $19.00

Dummies for Dummies.

from $19.00

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself mockup

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

from $19.00

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'. mockup

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

from $19.00

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ." mockup

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

from $19.00

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life' mockup

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

from $19.00

'Hello, security.'

from $19.00

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray." mockup

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

from $19.00

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

from $19.00

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars." mockup

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

from $19.00

Bald man polishing head

from $19.00

'Is that the trebuchet?'

from $19.00

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!" mockup

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

from $19.00

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout." mockup

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

from $19.00

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"Can you believe we walked right past security?" mockup

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

from $19.00

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.' mockup

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

from $19.00

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!” mockup

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

from $19.00

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.' mockup

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

from $19.00

Green Belt

from $19.00

Dual Airbags

from $19.00

Beware of the teddy

from $19.00

Ninja

from $19.00

!I haven't a clue what they are, but I don't like the look of them."

!I haven't a clue what they are, but I don't like the look of them." mockup

!I haven't a clue what they are, but I don't like the look of them."

from $19.00

Though it has never been proven, no one has ever denied that Abraham Lincoln had heat vision. Hmmm....

Though it has never been proven, no one has ever denied that Abraham Lincoln had heat vision. Hmmm.... mockup

Though it has never been proven, no one has ever denied that Abraham Lincoln had heat vision. Hmmm....

from $19.00

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight mockup

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

from $19.00

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji mockup

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

from $19.00

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it." mockup

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

from $19.00

Gingerbread man in Emergency room. mockup

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

from $19.00

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.' mockup

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

from $19.00

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords mockup

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

from $19.00

Self-defense Humorist Pillows Collection

Self-defense Humorist Mugs

Browse our collection of humorous self-defense mugs—perfect for coffee breaks filled with laughs and clever protection quotes.

Self-defense Humorist Prints

Discover our witty self-defense prints—bring humor and personality to your home or office décor.

Self-defense Humorist T-Shirts

Explore our funny self-defense t-shirts—ideal for making a witty statement wherever you go with comfort and humor.