Gun Humorist Pillows

"Do you have any organic bullets?"

'Don't worry, he never misses ... except when he's been drinking, like tonight.'

Cat in a tank...

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'...and this is the Mess.'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

French Army knife

'At last! Some decent kit.'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

The Mafia Goes Green.

Banting in the Yeomanry

At a Country House

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

US Camouflage School

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

The Emperor of Irony

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Beware of the dog.

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

Golf war: 'Fore!'

"It's from Private Ryan...Wish you were here."

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

The origin of 'Rorke's drift' has long been a subject of intense speculation.

'My doc says I carry a lot of hostility with me.'

"What do you think the delivery time is on a drone pizza?"