Battle-ready Humorist Pillows

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Does my bum look big in this?'

French Army knife

'...and this is the Mess.'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'At last! Some decent kit.'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Banting in the Yeomanry

At a Country House

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

General's Coin Toss

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

US Camouflage School

Golf war: 'Fore!'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Ron and Nancy Reagan.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

The Emperor of Irony

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

Beware of the dog.

Peacekeeping?

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)