Self-defense Comedy Pillows

Ninja

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'He's maturing early.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Mod Kwan Doh

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.

Athlete

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

Man fights with his shadow.