Self-defense Skeptic Pillows

"I knew we shouldn't have let Health and Safety run the self defence course!"

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Mod Kwan Doh

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Martial Arts

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

Man fights with his shadow.

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'