Self-defense Skeptic Pillows

"Seriously, I think you should just buy pepper spray."

"I knew we shouldn't have let Health and Safety run the self defence course!"

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Mod Kwan Doh

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Martial Arts

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Martial Arts

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Stun-gun target practice.

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."