Self-defense Advocate Pillows

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'-with every bottle comes our free Jujitsu course!'

'Look, buddy -- I'm just trying to do my job!'

"Little Red Riding Hood should have carried pepper spray."

"People have guns to protect themselves from people who have guns to protect themselves from people who have guns..."

Mod Kwan Doh

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

Martial Arts

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Justice 4 Ron

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

They Are Not Going to Take Me

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.