'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'
Self-defense Expert Pillows
Add a touch of humor and comfort to their space with our self-defense themed pillows—great for relaxing after a tough training session or for a playful home decor accent.
"I've been pepper-sprayed so many times that I've developed a taste for hot chillis: want top try one?"
Overjumpers
"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."
"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"
Women's Martial Arts Center
"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."
Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.
"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."
Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!
'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'
Martial Arts
KAWAII T'AI CHI
Mod Kwan Doh
"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."
Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!
"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."
Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.
They Are Not Going to Take Me
The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.
Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.
"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."
Martial Arts
"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."
'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'
A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself
'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'
"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."
Of Congress can't come to an agreement on a spending plan...
'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'
"Ohhh... He's out all right!"
Martial arts and clumsiness.
No one liked working the red-eye shift.
Stun-gun target practice.
'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'
Self-defense Expert Pillows Collection
Self-defense Expert Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs perfect for self-defense experts—funny, inspiring, and crafted to brighten their mornings.
Self-defense Expert Prints
Discover inspiring prints for self-defense enthusiasts—unique artwork that makes a bold statement about empowerment and fun.
Self-defense Expert T-Shirts
Find the ideal t-shirt for self-defense lovers—witty designs that combine humor and strength for everyday wear.