Self-defense Strategist Pillows

"Since I don't have a family, I pretty much use it to protect my other guns."

'Good - there's my purse. This is why I never keep my pistol in my purse.'

"So, It's kick-boxing now, is it, Debbie?"

Fortunately, Nigel had something up his sleeve.

Before There Was Pepper Spray

"We all have to maintain our personal boundaries. I'm prepared to maintain mine with pepper spray."

'Prowlers Welcome.'

'Maybe you should ease up on the burglar.'

"I'm waiting fro him to draw first."

Modern Self Defense

"If the sexual harassment is bothering you, my karate class is always looking for new members."

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Martial Arts

Mod Kwan Doh

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Have you got any arguments why the world should trust in US policy?"

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

Martial Arts

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

Mission accomplished.

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

When a nanosecond is forever.