Self-defense Guru Pillows

'Directions? You just wanted directions?'

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'OK - drop it or I'll sing.'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Women's Martial Arts Center

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Mod Kwan Doh

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

Martial Arts

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

The Karate Master

Fortunately, Nigel had something up his sleeve.

Green Belt

"So it's kick-boxing now, is it, Debbie?"

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

"Dang! This guy's good!"

'Okay - imagine you're a bailiff coming at me with a repossession order.'

"Mr. Ringo alleges that Marshal Earp used a very unpleasant tone of voice when he ordered him outa town on the noon stage."

'That's why i never wear my mobile phone next to my gun.'

"This guy's good!"

Hold on